8 Things I Did at the Sundance Film Festival
- Actually saw some films.
I don't want to overstate this. I only saw 2 films.
The first was Expired, in which KP2 masterfully portrayed a pregnant minivan driver. This premier was the main reason that KP2 and I went to Sundance, and it was totally worth it. The movie had the perfect combination of dark humor and cringe-inspiring relationship scenes between a metermaid and a meterman. Hopefully coming soon to a theater near you.
The second film was The Oates' Valor, an excellent short that you can watch by clicking on the link. This one only sort of counts since we watched it on TV in the condo where I was staying with the people who made the movie. But it was great, and it sounds impressive if you call it "an exclusive private screening" instead of "watching it in the condo."
- Got the movie star treatment in the "gifting lounges."
The big criticism of Sundance is that it isn't about the films anymore, it's all about the free stuff and star-spotting. I would self-righteously condemn the consumerization of art if I had actually gone to the movies, and if the gifting lounges weren't totally fucking awesome. We made it into a few, and I got some swag (it's true, they never call it schwag down there) from the good people at Diesel, Onitsuka Tiger, Absolut, Del Forte Denim, and some skincare company.
It is worth noting that Fred Siegel wouldn't let us through the door, and In Style Magazine had us physically removed from the premises. In Style Magazine, I hereby curse you and hope your styles become out of style. And to the yatch who pushed me, you're lucky I'm not actually important, because I'd totally call my agent or something if I was.
- Kicked it backstage with Mandy Moore.
Well, "kicked it" may be a little strong. We didn't actually talk to each other, and backstage was more of a hallway by the bathrooms, but I think we both laughed at the same joke once.
- Got photographed by the paparazzi.
For some reason the French media think I'm Julian Lennon, a 44 year old man who looks nothing like me. Or maybe I heard them wrong and they thought I was a different Julian. Either way, they jumped in front of me and yelled "Allo Julian" three different times.
- Roadied for KP2.
I carried KP2's cello into a party where she performed with Carey Brothers. Then we were invited to a rocking 5 course sit-down dinner where we sat with actual roadies (the kind that design and execute huge global touring shows, not the kind that carry their girlfriend's cello). And there was soup with cotton candy in it.
- Didn't go snowboarding.
Park City is supposed to be one of the best ski resorts in the world, but I wouldn't know since I have a mortal fear of mountains. The whole thing looked terrifying.
- Drank a lot.
On day 2 we realized why all the parties have to have free booze: buying a drink of reasonable strength in Utah costs $18 - $20. Recognizing that this was insane, we bought our own box of booze, drank a lot of it, and had terrible hangovers. Plus the Absolut House's combination of free chair massages and hot coffee vodka drinks lulled us into a state where we could have drunken indefinitely until we all died.
- Met all kinds of great people.
I know people from LA are supposed to be a bunch of superficial starfucking cokeheads, but I'm just not seeing it. Maybe I'm going to the wrong parties, but I loved pretty much everyone I met.