It looks like my 8 types of meeting attendees
post was appreciated
by some popular
people, and this morning I find myself briefly popular. How will temporary and meaningless fame change me? Here's how...
- Today I will sleep in for an extra 30 minutes.
Actually I had already done this by the time I found out I was internet-famous-for-the-day, but now I know why I felt comfortable with it. I was already feeling the love of the internet like a warm glow lulling me to sleep.
- Today I will check my measuremap every 10 minutes.
Is this vanity? Sure. When I woke up this morning and checked my email on my phone (which sounds m,uch nerdier than it actually is, I think) I found that someone had commented on my blog. Thanks to my good friends at Measuremap I knew within minutes that thousands of others who have...well...been to a meeting.
- Today I would quit my job, if I hadn't already quit 6 moths ago.
Seriously, big companies have too many meetings. Quit your job.
- Today I will refer to everyone as "she."
A brave person named Anonymous noticed that I referred to all the meeting types as "guy" "dude" "him" etc. I when I originally wrote it I used a variety of genders but then it sounded like I was saying specific mean things about women in the workplace, which would have certainly been worse. So today I'll make up for it by using only feminine pronouns. I hope this doesn't confuse anyone.
- Today I will get coffee at the good coffee place.
And a bagel too. Shit, why not right?
- Today I will drive to work, even though I'll probably get a ticket.
When the metermaid (see, feminine) tries to ticket me I'll yell "what do you think you're doing? Do you know who you're fucking with? Don't you subscribe to lifehack.org?" I am sure this will work.
- Today I will practice my meeting skills.
In my client meeting today I will switch from one meeting attendee type to another without warning. We'll see if this, combined with calling everyone "she," will cause me to lose a client.
- Today I'll give a bowl of cereal to anyone who shows up at my office.
Because we should never forget the little people. Call first.